One foot in front of the other

Do you ever feel like you are just going through the motions, sort of like this is what you do just because it's what you've always done. I have found myself in that spot a lot over the past few years and it has caused me to think and then rethink why I do what I do, and you know what… a lot of the times I don’t have an answer. My first response to not having an answer is to beat myself up because I don’t like sitting in the unknown, I like to have the answers, all the answers! But learning to sit in the unknown is becoming part of my regular everyday life. Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t like it, but learning to be okay with not knowing is a little freeing. I find myself questioning why I believe some of the things that I do, questioning why I invest so much of my time in some of the things that I do, why I spend my money on the things that I do, why I live where I live…  and I think it is healthy to ask yourself those questions but sometimes it can be a little overwhelming. The end of the year is fast approaching and I want to be able to look back and know that I made a difference, that I didn’t just go through the motions. That I took control of my life and took risks, that I wasn’t afraid to take chances, that I didn’t just go through the motions and do what I always have done just because that's the way it has always been.

 I don’t know about you but life isn’t always full of rainbows and butterflies, life is hard, really really hard sometimes and I think the easy thing to do is to just go through the motions, and maybe sometimes that's all you can do. But I am learning to press into the messy, to think about the hard questions, to ask myself why I do what I do and you know what… it is actually really healing. At least for me it brings freedom, it reminds me to just go with it sometimes, it keeps me focused on what is really important. It doesn’t mean that I always have all of the answers or that I always get it right, but pressing into the mess is life giving. So stop and ask yourself, are you just going through the motions of your life and just letting it happen to you or are you taking control and pressing into the mess and really living? I am not all that good at this but I am learning to find peace in the unknown. Joy in just going with it. Freedom in not living according to someone else's expectation of me. I am making the daily choice to not just go through the motions of life but to really engage in all parts of my life, even the parts I don’t like! My hope and prayer is that we will find joy in the everyday monotony of life, that we will press in and engage even when it is terrifying, that we will take risks and step out of our comfort zones.  On the other side of those comfort zones is freedom, is excitement, is new opportunities or so I’ve been told haha. So let’s risk it together, lets champion each other’s dreams, lets press through the fear together, lets challenge each other to just take the next step and keep engaging in this messy and glorious life that we have been so blessed to live!